maybe i will
2/2/91

i was crying at your funeral 
but then i saw the truth
you never really loved me
so now i'm dancing on your grave
those clear glass marbles
you roled across my mind 
may they now shatter
into a thousand shards 
and cut away my pain

is that why you killed yourself
because you were miserable with me?
i worshipped the ground you walked on
but now i realize why
because i saw you sitting there
alone on my front porch 
crying to yourself
and i never asked you why
now i'll never know
and i don't really care
but i still love you i always will
i'll never see you again
until i die myself
i cna never hold you again
until i die myself

i miss you more than words can say
i wish i could put my arms around your waist
like i have so many times before
then i'll know why you cried
when you didn't know that i was watching you
i wish i could see your beautiful face again
i wish i could cry in your beautiful lap again
i wish i could join you where ever you are
so maybe i will.
so maybe i will.