unshaved

it was the first time i knew what you were
	thinking because you told me
you don't really remember your father
you said
i've always wondered
someone told me that you didn't know his where-a-bouts
and i don't know his name.
assuming you do.
i drew faces in my zeros trying to resemble you
unshaved
you have pictures of him i know.
you told them to me once
there's no man-of-the-house
except you
are you frightened by this thought?
it's hard to ask you questions
you'll answer if you damn well please
i'm chewing my pencil
i like the sound it makes
it sounds like you
unshaved
chin against the phone
and i can't help thinking about her.
does she chew her pencils too?
do you idolize the thought of a father?
i do.
i haven't seen my father for a while
feeling mixed up
i settle back into my chair
thinking about the things you say
"everybody's trying to be everybody else" or
"oh, the light's off"
i'm thinking about the things you do
writing with the lights off.
i'm thinking about you...
unshaved.




4-9-91